Ground Day Zero

35 minutes till it's officially Day One.
Getting really nervous, really freaked.
Especially with no IOP till tomorrow.
...
Trying to feel psyched. Gah.
What if I missed something?
What if I bring the wrong things?
That's always my biggest problem - what to pack. what to wear. what to bring.
>.<

ohmygeegeegeegee (no I'm not copying the Garde cheer, it's just an alternative to omg).

Tomorrow will be the first time I miss CSD/CSM (Cedar Sports Day/Meet).
Pity I won't get to see the cheer routines.
Not that this year's cheerleading "atmosphere" has been great. Too much politics, imo.
At least I didn't join - the stress would have killed me, not to mention I would have been forced to drop out (AYC, aye)
Ahwell.

Hope AYC's gonna be great... make all our hard work worth it (:
And after that, I REALLY NEED TO GO BACK TO BALLET.
missed so many lessons.. giving me withdrawal symptoms ):):
stretchhhh...turn...jump...dance <3
 

Oh, Broken Angel;

SongLyrics.com Broken Angel

Birthday Wishes

On your birthday, you don't need fancy restaurant reservations, you don't need diamond-studded Cartier watches, you don't need fancy cakes. On your birthday, the best present comes from the heart, comes from effort, comes from sincerity. It's packaged with love, wrapped with care, sealed with the promise to stay together forever, to never forsake each other.
This year, it came in a card.
I'm glad you loved it ♥

 

Happy Birthday Mom :D

Cocksure about being Unsure;

it was... sweet, and uh, cute... in a way. :)
gotta admit, you had guts...

i'm sorry i didn't say much, i'm not good at talking about my feelings... i need time to think, and to plan it out... i know "i don't know" just doesn't really cut it.

the future's uncertain... let's just see where it takes us.

'cos i just don't wanna lose it all

Do I Make You Proud

I've never been the one to raise my hand,
That was not me and now that's who I am
Because of you I am standing tall.
My heart is full of endless gratitude,
You were the one, the one to guide me through,
Now I can see and I believe it's only just beginning

This what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

I guess I've learned, to question is to grow
That you still have faith, is all I need to know
I've learned to love myself in spite of me
And I've learned to walk, the road that I believe

This what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

This what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

This what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

Do I make you proud?
Do I make you proud?

I'm proud of all the leaders, 'cause we are more than just students.
We have more commitments, more things to do, higher standards, greater expectations... and yet we manage, somehow, to stay on top of it all.
For that, WE.ARE.AWESOME.

CEDAR PREFECTORIAL BOARD
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 2010-2011,
WE ARE THE BEST
WE TOP THE REST
WE ARE THE LOVE<3

And I Lover Deeper... and Spoke Sweeter... Lived Like I Was Dying

He said: "I was in my early forties,
"With a lot of life before me,
"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
"I spent most of the next days,
"Looking at the x-rays,
"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

He said "I was finally the husband,
"That most the time I wasn’t.
"An' I became a friend a friend would like to have.
"And all of a sudden goin' fishin’,
"Wasn’t such an imposition,
"And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
"And I took a good long hard look,
"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
"And then:

"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An' what did you do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?

"Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I watched Blue Eagle as it was flyin'."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'." 

 Gahh. What's wrong with me. Am I overreacting?

Yeah, I probably am.

Maybe it's the stress.

Maybe. Yeah, Maybe.

Hmfph. Who know's if I'm making excuses.. even I myself, do not know the answer to this million-dollar question.

I laughed with you, laughed 'cause it was just so damn epic, so damn hilarious... I laughed till I cried.

And then suddenly, I just felt like bawling my eyes out.. over everything that's going on.. about the decisions I have made and have yet to make...

Oh God. Help me...

hey. you think you're fucked? please, try living my life.

every saturday, i have

-ballet: 10.30am-12pm

-YOG: 12.45pm (since we don't seem to a shred of punctuality ingrained in us)-4plus/5

-AYC: can take up almost my whole day, depending.

-church service project: 12.30pm-4plus

tell me, how do I choose? Whatever my choice, i "pon" the other three...

i keep asking myself what if... what if i never joined Cedar Dance, what if i never agreed to be part of the AYC SOT... better yet, what if i never joined CPB,
what if i wasn't Catholic? pfft... one musn't think such thoughts...

not to mention, i have no fucking tuition, not because i don't want it, but because i can't.
it's a fucking miracle i'm not at the bottom of the cohort.
 yet, i'm underperforming. bloody hell.

...i may have made a bad choice today,
i may have made someone upset, pissed and annoyed, more like.
but that's life. you can't always be thinking of yourself, about your own schedule. other people have their own sometimes screwed up life to attend to.

and please, guys, stop hatin' on the school... have you ever thought that it might not be the school, BUT RATHER THE PEOPLE IN IT? and yo,  i'm not talkin' bout the above-21s... SOMETIMES WE THINK WE KNOW IT ALL... but delusioned is all we are. yeah, just like how i turn away when you guys are eating in class, whenever you break the rules in any way you deem fit, even though it makes me wanna scream. Call me guai kia, call me goody-two-shoes, i don't care. because at the end of the day, i don't think any of you care about the fact that i feel like a bloody hypocrite when i let all these things pass... yeah, i smile and laugh it off, but i feel like i'm cheatin' on the trust placed upon me... i'm guess i'm just not living up to expectations. good grief, sometimes things are just outta your hands, and ya just gotta accept it kays?

Join the RACe!

wah... just as i thought i could go sleep... I CAN'T SLEEP.
what's my bloody problem man.. i'm even lying down on my bed like, flat out. nope, not that tired. and i finished my work! well, sorta. i just hope she reads my emails.
maybe my lappy really wants me to do my homework.
that bad, huh?

nevermind, i shall take the opportunity to blog about T-O-D-A-Y!
hahaha.

lol it really was kinda awkard standing next to (or rather, behind and away from) b****** in the morning... good thing the girls came pretty shortly after me.
i swear, that guy's so introverted he's about to turn himself inside out.

THE RUN.
one word: MUDDY.
tiring, but worth it. having a good time with friends, and helping out a good cause- that's two birds with one stone right there.

VOLLEYBALL:
omg. FUNN.... but definitely must train up more.. spiking and libero-ing!!

AFTERWARDS:
wah my stress speed really deproved eh.. what's wrong with me man...


...

ah i'm getting tired.
lazy write longlong.

my parting words:
 AIYOO WHY GOT ONE UNGLAM PHOTO OF ME!!
eh but actually it makes quite a cool dp.... probably the only shot of me from the back LOL.


bleaghs. waking up in 8 (so i tell myself, so i hope will happen) hours.
I MUST NOT OVERSLEEP.
yeah, who am i kidding.
my body certainly knows better.

jy dude! :) (the lack of sleep's really gonna take it's toll, so be careful...)

GOODNIGHT FOLKS! 晚安！

results? what results? more like none.

Silence descended over the hall.
Solemnly,
everyone took theirs,
passed the rest down.

Reluctant,
yet Anxious,
she carefully selected hers from the stack
(let's give the rest the privacy they're due), and
passed the rest down.

Slowly,
she turned the paper over,
not daring to look
till the very last moment.

Her knuckles whitened,
her hands shook.
Her head slumped
as if praying for a miracle
(maybe, maybe, she was).
The tears came.

Cease,
they never did.
After all,
she tried her best
(or had she?)

Soon, the next stack came.
Another dagger
to her weakening morale.
Her head still bowed
(for she refused to reveal her red rimmed eyes),
she took hers, rather fearfully, and
passed the rest down.

the Definition of Love

Love- a game of give and take... delicate, almost like a dance;
slow and steady, like the waltz,
yet spritzed with excitement, like the quickstep
the light-heartedness of the jive, and
the passion, of the paso doble.

 

if only i could write like this all the time..

*smiles*

conflict, resolved.

nothing's changed.
that's good =)

and... i would like to thank the listening ear :D

...

what the f*ck did i do?

sigh... i answered honestly.. but i don't think they get it.
it.. doesn't mean i like you.
willing to date, yes... doesn't mean i want to.

haiz.

i'm sorry, cause you prob like someone else anyways...
we're just friends. that's a good thing :)

Deviation

finally, a mass convo after so long...
haha

convo kept stalling at me, dunno why...
lol

=>can't wait for next outing! :D

"and then there were two..."

shit still got so much homework... sigh last-minute chionging here i come...

let's PLAY =D

outing today. GREAT (since someone says not awesome) =D

morning
oops. i know i was a bit late :X

bowling
V: sharing the umbrella with somebody should have begun a long time ago :P
Jumbo Playing Cards! :D haha -> how i found out i don't get bridge... (wait, i need it repeated many, many times)
WG: not a good idea to swing a 14-pound bowling ball backwards, eh? =P

"i think i know why we got these two lanes..."
haha~

beach vball
sorry to all the people we hit! ):


The A-Team
-.- seating arrangement...
but it was cool and action-packed, with humor. nice. funny.
good =)

T&D
!!!
i now wonder what my dare would have been, had i chose it...

dun be offended kay?
it's not that you're not caring too. you are.
it's not that easy to explain...
i guess i just see you in that "big-bro" light...

luckily it was dark... i think i was blushing like mad :X

murderer
i think we look abit like we're doing occult stuff lol...

monkey
OMG. MOST FUN MONKEY GAME, EVER.
MUST. HAVE. MORE. NEXT. TIME.
epic-ness must live on.
lol.

.
..
...
..
.

you two, you needa stop giggling -.- and making weird comments...
weather, i wish you'd given us the opportunity to experience sand, when we wanted it - because it's rare.
OS, you did a good job. please try not to feel otherwise :)
we only have 2 group pics, and not full strength):
security guard, you needa chill.
dogs today were cute! (:(:
looking forward to the next one! =]

you were born from the wreckage of your silent reverie;

hmm.. i really don't know what makes me tell you all this stuff...
but hey, thanks a lot for listening (:

by telling, i accept.

and by accepting,

i heal.


YOG Drum Rehearsal tmr. Hope it goes well!

i'm having a very weird experience now...

yeah kay, it's 1 am.. first vidchat on my laptop.

hi, stranger. yeah, it's kinda weird 'cos you're only sec 1, but whatever.

jeez this night's really random...

fb status- watch out.

so... tell me whatcha want, whatcha really really want...

LOL thanks to someone, the song's stuck in my head -.-

sigh... feel like a pig. slept so much today T.T
i need more exercise...

good thing i'm going out tomorrow with some of the girls :)

aaron: you better behave, ah zai! :P

Death and All His Friends;

wow... Grey's has really ended. The last two episodes were... wow. Thrilling, exciting, blood-pumping and all that stuff. Cold-blooded killer with a purpose- one of the scariest things ever. Driven by grief, by guilt- the mind becomes blank; he can't differentiate between the rational and the irrational- he has only one thing left on his mind.

Revenge.

Justice.

An Eye for an Eye.

Is it worth it?


You gotta love the cast. Curtain call!

Vain Attempts to Psych Myself Up;

Sat in the library again today. Alone.
Not that it really bothers me.

Who cares- picked up a really great mag. Really inspiring, and i started to Write again.
Total crap, but as the mag quoted,
"You can edit crap, but you can't edit a blank page." :)

anyhoo.. here it comes..

4:04pm
Okay. Stop.
Back to work, she tells herself.
She looks up, around.
Sighs.
Glances wistfully at the magazine placed on her left,
page marked.
Oh, how enticing.
But no.
Stop.
Enough.
Go back.
Back,
to Work.


4:58pm
I walk among the shelves,
one after another.
The books;
How I yearn to lay my eyes, my hands, on them.

I. Must. Focus.


6:36pm
Yes!
Finished reading Chem textbook.
Now to finish my magazine before i 踏上归途。


2 more days.

If Everyone Cared;

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky

Confusing stars for satellites

I never dreamed that you'd be mine

But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing

Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies

Our only light in paradise

We'll show the world they were wrong

And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

(I'm alive)

And as we lie beneath the stars

We realize how small we are

If they could love like you and me

Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

Then we'd see the day when nobody died

When nobody died...

~awesome Nickelback song...

let's make the world a better place;