Don't let 'em say you ain't Beautiful

One Step at a Time; Let's Take It Slow

So here I am, taking a gamble with you. I no longer want to think about how the future might be, because as some say, it is the journey that counts. Whether or not we make it, or if this eventually fizzles out, I hope I would have left a positive footprint in your life. Your life, more than anyone else's.

class 95 love stories are so nice sometimes.

Dress it up with the trappings of love;

is it me you're referring to?

I'll be Love's Suicide...

I Can Wait... I Can Wait Forever

i can wait forever.
i just don't know if you can.

just can't stand me and my imperfections sometimes. okay, make that every time i look at myself.

the truth shall Set You Free

okay. really random.
but really.
something's gotta be said soon.
i think?
maybe.
i don't know.

what when? how? what?
 what's there to say when maybe, maybe you've got nothing to say?

rah. that's something for another time.






gonna teach my awesome level hip hop tomorrow. pray i don't screw up. pray i don't make a mess of myself. needa learn new stuff. needa practice.

y'know, sometimes i just feel like i'm not good at anything. 
...and ain't that just kinda sad.

The Only Exception (for not everyone can make me feel like I'm livin' a Teenage Dream)

You think I'm pretty
Without any make-up on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the punch line wrong
I know you get me
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

I might get your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

Coincidences.

'cause Life's just cool that way :)

*angels*

the words of the Experienced

What you said today makes sense, sir.
Got a feelin' you're gonna be that sort of overprotective, "hurt my daughter and i'll shoot you" kinda dad. But that's nice- beats the one i have):

But it's k. I've got over it.
What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger, right?

It's sweet how she was your first, sweet how you knew she was the one for you, the one you'd care for in sickness and in health, in richness and poverty, till death do you part.
But the pessimist in me says - will it last?
How do you know?
How does anyone know?
I guess you can't quite blame me for thinking that way.


It's time to take a step back. 

incrimination

so, i was saying... well, nothing really.
chatter...silence...
loud..soft..hushed..
12.31am. it's quiet.
literally. figuratively.
why?

y'know what. a blog's a diary, but it's like keeping a diary without a lock, and leaving in on your desk in class. safe? nah, i don't think so.
these thoughts, they're staying in my head.
i might write it down, yes.
but they're for my eyes only
heh, go figure.


t'day was rather... weird. really,
can't think of another word.
i hoped,
but nah.
not yet. (i think)


despite my hiatus from taking up space and producing e-waste,
i actually have stuff to post. (from a while back)
but i'm lazy. bite me.


Lucifer's playing while i type this. LOL


i hate being a second-rate version of myself, seriously.
but i guess that's why i never make it to the top,
'cause it's not like i do much to improve the situation.
 and who's fault is that? 

Gifts from the Heart... INSPIRE (:

good job to the OT, it was a really nice concert, and i enjoyed every item! (though some more than others hehe :P)
BUT OMG THE DANCERS + CHOREOGRAPHY WERE DAMN COOL.
QUITE A FEW HOT/SEXAYYE GUY DANCERSSSS... of course, i'm referring to their dancing. LOL. cute singer also got ^^

man, i sound so superficial and blonde. hurhur xp


and of course, another group photo! but still not full strength aww..

*stoically ignores certain comments and likes*




~scandalous pair with all your manywordsquishedintoone-type problems XD 

three things:

1. the debate didn't happen. cheated my feelings hmmpfh:/ on the bright side, I GOT A1 FOR THE TA! OMG YAY haha 'cause i thought i like, seriously screwed it up. now i know, i am capable of rocking rebuttal paragraphs. booyeah!
2. a questioned popped up. uh... what are YOU doing?
3. it's 10pm, and i'm about to start mugging for a math test tomorrow. modulus function, linear law, curves and circles. alll whilst glee's going on. yeah yay.

Ground Day Zero

35 minutes till it's officially Day One.
Getting really nervous, really freaked.
Especially with no IOP till tomorrow.
...
Trying to feel psyched. Gah.
What if I missed something?
What if I bring the wrong things?
That's always my biggest problem - what to pack. what to wear. what to bring.
>.<

ohmygeegeegeegee (no I'm not copying the Garde cheer, it's just an alternative to omg).

Tomorrow will be the first time I miss CSD/CSM (Cedar Sports Day/Meet).
Pity I won't get to see the cheer routines.
Not that this year's cheerleading "atmosphere" has been great. Too much politics, imo.
At least I didn't join - the stress would have killed me, not to mention I would have been forced to drop out (AYC, aye)
Ahwell.

Hope AYC's gonna be great... make all our hard work worth it (:
And after that, I REALLY NEED TO GO BACK TO BALLET.
missed so many lessons.. giving me withdrawal symptoms ):):
stretchhhh...turn...jump...dance <3
 

Oh, Broken Angel;

SongLyrics.com Broken Angel

Birthday Wishes

On your birthday, you don't need fancy restaurant reservations, you don't need diamond-studded Cartier watches, you don't need fancy cakes. On your birthday, the best present comes from the heart, comes from effort, comes from sincerity. It's packaged with love, wrapped with care, sealed with the promise to stay together forever, to never forsake each other.
This year, it came in a card.
I'm glad you loved it ♥

 

Happy Birthday Mom :D

Cocksure about being Unsure;

it was... sweet, and uh, cute... in a way. :)
gotta admit, you had guts...

i'm sorry i didn't say much, i'm not good at talking about my feelings... i need time to think, and to plan it out... i know "i don't know" just doesn't really cut it.

the future's uncertain... let's just see where it takes us.

'cos i just don't wanna lose it all

Do I Make You Proud

I've never been the one to raise my hand,
That was not me and now that's who I am
Because of you I am standing tall.
My heart is full of endless gratitude,
You were the one, the one to guide me through,
Now I can see and I believe it's only just beginning

This what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

I guess I've learned, to question is to grow
That you still have faith, is all I need to know
I've learned to love myself in spite of me
And I've learned to walk, the road that I believe

This what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

This what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

This what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

Do I make you proud?
Do I make you proud?

I'm proud of all the leaders, 'cause we are more than just students.
We have more commitments, more things to do, higher standards, greater expectations... and yet we manage, somehow, to stay on top of it all.
For that, WE.ARE.AWESOME.

CEDAR PREFECTORIAL BOARD
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 2010-2011,
WE ARE THE BEST
WE TOP THE REST
WE ARE THE LOVE<3

And I Lover Deeper... and Spoke Sweeter... Lived Like I Was Dying

He said: "I was in my early forties,
"With a lot of life before me,
"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
"I spent most of the next days,
"Looking at the x-rays,
"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

He said "I was finally the husband,
"That most the time I wasn’t.
"An' I became a friend a friend would like to have.
"And all of a sudden goin' fishin’,
"Wasn’t such an imposition,
"And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
"And I took a good long hard look,
"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
"And then:

"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An' what did you do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?

"Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I watched Blue Eagle as it was flyin'."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'." 

 Gahh. What's wrong with me. Am I overreacting?

Yeah, I probably am.

Maybe it's the stress.

Maybe. Yeah, Maybe.

Hmfph. Who know's if I'm making excuses.. even I myself, do not know the answer to this million-dollar question.

I laughed with you, laughed 'cause it was just so damn epic, so damn hilarious... I laughed till I cried.

And then suddenly, I just felt like bawling my eyes out.. over everything that's going on.. about the decisions I have made and have yet to make...

Oh God. Help me...

hey. you think you're fucked? please, try living my life.

every saturday, i have

-ballet: 10.30am-12pm

-YOG: 12.45pm (since we don't seem to a shred of punctuality ingrained in us)-4plus/5

-AYC: can take up almost my whole day, depending.

-church service project: 12.30pm-4plus

tell me, how do I choose? Whatever my choice, i "pon" the other three...

i keep asking myself what if... what if i never joined Cedar Dance, what if i never agreed to be part of the AYC SOT... better yet, what if i never joined CPB,
what if i wasn't Catholic? pfft... one musn't think such thoughts...

not to mention, i have no fucking tuition, not because i don't want it, but because i can't.
it's a fucking miracle i'm not at the bottom of the cohort.
 yet, i'm underperforming. bloody hell.

...i may have made a bad choice today,
i may have made someone upset, pissed and annoyed, more like.
but that's life. you can't always be thinking of yourself, about your own schedule. other people have their own sometimes screwed up life to attend to.

and please, guys, stop hatin' on the school... have you ever thought that it might not be the school, BUT RATHER THE PEOPLE IN IT? and yo,  i'm not talkin' bout the above-21s... SOMETIMES WE THINK WE KNOW IT ALL... but delusioned is all we are. yeah, just like how i turn away when you guys are eating in class, whenever you break the rules in any way you deem fit, even though it makes me wanna scream. Call me guai kia, call me goody-two-shoes, i don't care. because at the end of the day, i don't think any of you care about the fact that i feel like a bloody hypocrite when i let all these things pass... yeah, i smile and laugh it off, but i feel like i'm cheatin' on the trust placed upon me... i'm guess i'm just not living up to expectations. good grief, sometimes things are just outta your hands, and ya just gotta accept it kays?

Join the RACe!

wah... just as i thought i could go sleep... I CAN'T SLEEP.
what's my bloody problem man.. i'm even lying down on my bed like, flat out. nope, not that tired. and i finished my work! well, sorta. i just hope she reads my emails.
maybe my lappy really wants me to do my homework.
that bad, huh?

nevermind, i shall take the opportunity to blog about T-O-D-A-Y!
hahaha.

lol it really was kinda awkard standing next to (or rather, behind and away from) b****** in the morning... good thing the girls came pretty shortly after me.
i swear, that guy's so introverted he's about to turn himself inside out.

THE RUN.
one word: MUDDY.
tiring, but worth it. having a good time with friends, and helping out a good cause- that's two birds with one stone right there.

VOLLEYBALL:
omg. FUNN.... but definitely must train up more.. spiking and libero-ing!!

AFTERWARDS:
wah my stress speed really deproved eh.. what's wrong with me man...


...

ah i'm getting tired.
lazy write longlong.

my parting words:
 AIYOO WHY GOT ONE UNGLAM PHOTO OF ME!!
eh but actually it makes quite a cool dp.... probably the only shot of me from the back LOL.


bleaghs. waking up in 8 (so i tell myself, so i hope will happen) hours.
I MUST NOT OVERSLEEP.
yeah, who am i kidding.
my body certainly knows better.

jy dude! :) (the lack of sleep's really gonna take it's toll, so be careful...)

GOODNIGHT FOLKS! 晚安！

results? what results? more like none.

Silence descended over the hall.
Solemnly,
everyone took theirs,
passed the rest down.

Reluctant,
yet Anxious,
she carefully selected hers from the stack
(let's give the rest the privacy they're due), and
passed the rest down.

Slowly,
she turned the paper over,
not daring to look
till the very last moment.

Her knuckles whitened,
her hands shook.
Her head slumped
as if praying for a miracle
(maybe, maybe, she was).
The tears came.

Cease,
they never did.
After all,
she tried her best
(or had she?)

Soon, the next stack came.
Another dagger
to her weakening morale.
Her head still bowed
(for she refused to reveal her red rimmed eyes),
she took hers, rather fearfully, and
passed the rest down.

the Definition of Love

Love- a game of give and take... delicate, almost like a dance;
slow and steady, like the waltz,
yet spritzed with excitement, like the quickstep
the light-heartedness of the jive, and
the passion, of the paso doble.

 

if only i could write like this all the time..

*smiles*

conflict, resolved.

nothing's changed.
that's good =)

and... i would like to thank the listening ear :D

...

what the f*ck did i do?

sigh... i answered honestly.. but i don't think they get it.
it.. doesn't mean i like you.
willing to date, yes... doesn't mean i want to.

haiz.

i'm sorry, cause you prob like someone else anyways...
we're just friends. that's a good thing :)

Deviation

finally, a mass convo after so long...
haha

convo kept stalling at me, dunno why...
lol

=>can't wait for next outing! :D

"and then there were two..."

shit still got so much homework... sigh last-minute chionging here i come...

let's PLAY =D

outing today. GREAT (since someone says not awesome) =D

morning
oops. i know i was a bit late :X

bowling
V: sharing the umbrella with somebody should have begun a long time ago :P
Jumbo Playing Cards! :D haha -> how i found out i don't get bridge... (wait, i need it repeated many, many times)
WG: not a good idea to swing a 14-pound bowling ball backwards, eh? =P

"i think i know why we got these two lanes..."
haha~

beach vball
sorry to all the people we hit! ):


The A-Team
-.- seating arrangement...
but it was cool and action-packed, with humor. nice. funny.
good =)

T&D
!!!
i now wonder what my dare would have been, had i chose it...

dun be offended kay?
it's not that you're not caring too. you are.
it's not that easy to explain...
i guess i just see you in that "big-bro" light...

luckily it was dark... i think i was blushing like mad :X

murderer
i think we look abit like we're doing occult stuff lol...

monkey
OMG. MOST FUN MONKEY GAME, EVER.
MUST. HAVE. MORE. NEXT. TIME.
epic-ness must live on.
lol.

.
..
...
..
.

you two, you needa stop giggling -.- and making weird comments...
weather, i wish you'd given us the opportunity to experience sand, when we wanted it - because it's rare.
OS, you did a good job. please try not to feel otherwise :)
we only have 2 group pics, and not full strength):
security guard, you needa chill.
dogs today were cute! (:(:
looking forward to the next one! =]

you were born from the wreckage of your silent reverie;

hmm.. i really don't know what makes me tell you all this stuff...
but hey, thanks a lot for listening (:

by telling, i accept.

and by accepting,

i heal.


YOG Drum Rehearsal tmr. Hope it goes well!

i'm having a very weird experience now...

yeah kay, it's 1 am.. first vidchat on my laptop.

hi, stranger. yeah, it's kinda weird 'cos you're only sec 1, but whatever.

jeez this night's really random...

fb status- watch out.

so... tell me whatcha want, whatcha really really want...

LOL thanks to someone, the song's stuck in my head -.-

sigh... feel like a pig. slept so much today T.T
i need more exercise...

good thing i'm going out tomorrow with some of the girls :)

aaron: you better behave, ah zai! :P

Death and All His Friends;

wow... Grey's has really ended. The last two episodes were... wow. Thrilling, exciting, blood-pumping and all that stuff. Cold-blooded killer with a purpose- one of the scariest things ever. Driven by grief, by guilt- the mind becomes blank; he can't differentiate between the rational and the irrational- he has only one thing left on his mind.

Revenge.

Justice.

An Eye for an Eye.

Is it worth it?


You gotta love the cast. Curtain call!

Vain Attempts to Psych Myself Up;

Sat in the library again today. Alone.
Not that it really bothers me.

Who cares- picked up a really great mag. Really inspiring, and i started to Write again.
Total crap, but as the mag quoted,
"You can edit crap, but you can't edit a blank page." :)

anyhoo.. here it comes..

4:04pm
Okay. Stop.
Back to work, she tells herself.
She looks up, around.
Sighs.
Glances wistfully at the magazine placed on her left,
page marked.
Oh, how enticing.
But no.
Stop.
Enough.
Go back.
Back,
to Work.


4:58pm
I walk among the shelves,
one after another.
The books;
How I yearn to lay my eyes, my hands, on them.

I. Must. Focus.


6:36pm
Yes!
Finished reading Chem textbook.
Now to finish my magazine before i 踏上归途。


2 more days.

If Everyone Cared;

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky

Confusing stars for satellites

I never dreamed that you'd be mine

But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing

Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies

Our only light in paradise

We'll show the world they were wrong

And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

(I'm alive)

And as we lie beneath the stars

We realize how small we are

If they could love like you and me

Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

Then we'd see the day when nobody died

When nobody died...

~awesome Nickelback song...

let's make the world a better place;

Productive Afternoon =D a day of Realizations...

today, on the bus ride back home, i realised something:
i only blog when i'm emo, super high, crazy, restless/bored... basically, in states of emotional unstability.
so.. i present, my crappy emotional dumping ground. heh.

STUDY SESSION =D
i realized: there is a Study Lounge in the National Library (Bugis). But, it can be insanely crowded...
anyways... managed to finish e math paper! and that 1 para english thing!
thanks for the help, you guys =) it was really nice of y'all to sit with us in macs for a whole afternoon, even though your exams were over...
i realized: i need more common sense.
=>really scared for MYEs now... can't afford to fail ):

DINNER =)
the guy putting the food onto the trays... so funny. lol.
serving was... quite big (to me).
still feel pretty full now that i think about it....
i realized: i have failed to grasp the all-important skill of pasta-twirling.
hmm... for some reason, my state of mind then was.... kinda funky.
sorry if i looked sian, or anything like that... and i probably shouldn't have rambled so much before that... feel like some ***** now... sigh. x.x

i realized: there IS a postbox near bugis.
took us awhile, and a few questions, but we found it! haha...
the walk was uh... kinda random? lol. i now know how Raffles Hospital looks from all sides... but...strangely, it was good- and i needed it. going straight home would just make me stone in front of the computer, in stony silence...o.o-another bad pun and alliteration.
 This is why I can't do Exposition-> blatant absence of logic...

 ... finally, my body feels the lethargy my eyes are trying hard to ignore...
goodnight, tiny humans.


I feel so... not smart right now.
maybe... i never was. 

Run Baby Run;

sigh.. today was tiring. felt so noob running behind everyone... but i don't run so whaddya expect? i'm no Kenyan...
nevermind, it was still fun, finding mother's day presents and strawberry milk and hogging the RAC signup table and randoming with my bro & the rest... :D

 friends are the love, seriously. idk where i'd be without them... :)

i miss my books.
exams go away like please.



kay now i'm just crapping. bye world. back to trying to crap out some draft for zuowen.

World On Fire;

Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in this story's pages
Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And I try to hold it in, yeah I try to hold it in

[Chorus]
The world's on fire and
It's more than I can handle
I'll tap into the water
(I try to pull my ship)
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
(Bring it to the table)
Bring what I am able

I watch the heavens and I find a calling
Something I can do to change this moment
Stay close to me while the sky is falling
Don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone

[Chorus]

Hearts break, hearts mend
Love still hurts
Visions clash, planes crash
Still there's talk of
Saving souls, still the cold
Is closing in on us

We part the veil on our killer sun
Stray from the straight line on this short run
The more we take, the less we become
A fortune of one that means less for some

[Chorus X2]


 The stress is getting to me;

give me the strength to triumph.  

good times pass so quickly;

wow... it's been like, a century since this place has seen some action...
oh well. who reads this anyway?

i suddenly feel like posting, idk why.



 HCI [Ortus] Exchange was... awesome. can't think of any other way to describe it. really missing those stress-free five days... now i'm back in school and it's a wonder i haven't cracked, what with the addition of campaigning (which reminds me- SPEECH! POSTERS! ahhh...)

Just thought I'd relive the good times...:
...
damn. blogger sucks at uploading pics.
nvm. there's always facebook ;D




Dance Night...
what can i say.
I HEART<3 DANCE!

these just say it all:

"There are likewise three kinds of dancers: first, those who consider dancing as a sort of gymnastic drill, made up of impersonal and graceful arabesques; second, those who, by concentrating their minds, lead the body into the rhythm of a desired emotion, expressing a remembered feeling or experience. And finally, there are those who convert the body into a luminous fluidity, surrendering it to the inspiration of the soul."
~Isadora Duncan

"Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is not mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself."
~Havelock Ellis

yup yup.




grr blogger abit screwed today. sigh. maybe i'm just destined to say this all in my head.

ohwell.

Song of the Moment ~> Drowning - Backstreet Boys

HNY

Quote from Edith Lovejoy Pierce-

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called "Opportunity" and its first chapter is New Year's Day.

Happy New Year, folks.