i don't really know what to feel.. really. about results and everything. worse still, gotta make choices by monday.

screwed up big time.
charlie, instructors, i'm really really sorry.
i failed.

classmates, read my latest fb note.
this one's for you, guys :)

arrivederci.

Tonight I Wanna Cry

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away


I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry


Would it help if i turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way


I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Keith Urban

LOVE

WHAT IS LOVE?
Love is a slow kiss goodnight, It's anticipation.
Love is flirting outrageously and still remembering that the person at your side is not obligated to do anything, It's respect.
Love is an imperfection in your self not bothering you, it's acceptance.
Love is passing up an opportunity because the time isn't right yet, It's patience.
Love is a back massage that starts above the hairline and ends around the insoles, it's exploration.
Love doesn't have to say, "lets make love," because you know what the other person wants, it understands.
Love is being given an honest chance to say no when you thought you were committed, it's consideration.
Love is both of you remembering protection, it's responsibility.
Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles, it's humor.
Love is being told "stop and i'll kill you." It's desire.
Love is reviewing the damage to your living room and realizing personal effects are strewn in a clockwise pattern from the front door the to bedroom, it's abandonment.
Love is seeing what your love really looks like for the first time, it's truth.
Love is knowing what time it is and not caring, it's joy.
Love is the arms around you tightening their embrace, it's ecstasy.
Love is seeing a new side of a person you thought you knew, it's renewal.
Love is telling a person if you have to leave, you will let them sleep, and being told they would rather be woken, it's tenderness.
Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder, it's where fantasy meets reality.
Love is being there to wake your lover slowly, it's sensuousness.
Love belatedly knows why you bothered to buy a queen-sized bed three years ago, it's practicality.
Love is two people only taking up a third of a queen-sized bed, it's closeness.
Love knows you gave the extra set of keys to your apartment to the right person, its trust.
Love is saying good-bye and knowing you will be back by mutual consent, its faith.
Love is stretching your arms and discovering the real meaning of the word "sore" it's a lesson in human frailty.
Love is opening your medicine cabinet finding your tube of toothpaste turned into a pretzel, it's adaptation.
Love is sitting at the window, looking out and remembering who you were with the night before, it's reflection.
Love is hearing the weather forecast for a winter storm and wishing you could spend it in bed with your lover, it's loneliness.
Love is stories that will never be told, it's personal.

- Unknown

my mom chain-mailed me this. read it. it's good for you:

I Love You, Mom……

My mom only had one eye.

I hated her... She was such an embarrassment.

She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school when my mom came to say

hello to me.

I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me?

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEE, your mom only has

one eye!"

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear.

I confronted her that day and said, "If you're only gonna make me a

laughing stock, why don't you just die?"

My mom did not respond....

I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I

was full of anger.

I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have

nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married.I bought a house of my own.

I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts.

Then one day, my Mother came to visit me.

She hadn't seen me in years and she hadn’t even met her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her

for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my

house and scare my children!"

GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have

gotten the wrong address."

And she disappeared out of sight....

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.

So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.

After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbours said that she had died.

I did not shed a single tear.

They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

I read ….

"My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared

your children.

I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.

But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.

I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing

up.

You see......... when you were very little, you got into an accident, and

lost your eye.

As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.

So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of you my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my

place, with that eye.

With all my love,

Your mom”

“I love you, Mom ….. I love you, Mom” I cried … but it’s too late ….. now I

live in deep regret … for I know that there will never be closure in my life … ever …

song of the moment: tonight i wanna cry - keith urban

many thanks...

CHARLIE, thanks for being such a great group. you guys are the most awesome-est bunch ever, so let's jiayou for campfire and camp okay? and dragonboating too :D

INSTRUCTORS, you three (plus one) are really great; thanks so much for teaching us all that good stuff...and for the dinner. heehee :D

Joey, thanks for picking up the pieces. Let's hope that we really "pick up where we left off".

goodnight.

song of the moment: Stupid Boy - Keith Urban

hey guys... it's such a sad time...

unfortunately, i don't have any more space left in my shelf, and i don't exactly read them anymore... so i'm posting some books here. if you guys want, you can buy from me (prices definitely negotiable, and very low) or you could do a book swap (provided i want the book lah, duh ;P).... whatever's not taken will probably be sold tomorrow, so just tell me, even if you're gonna sleep it over, yeah?

'kay, here they are:

1. The Mediator, Book 2: High Stakes - Meg Cabot
2. The Mediator, Book 3: Mean Spirits -Meg Cabot
3. The Mediator, Book 5: Grave Doubts - Meg Cabot
4. The Princess Diaries, Volume V (5): Princess in Pink - Meg Cabot
5. The Princess Diaries, Voume VI (6): Princess in Training - Meg Cabot
6. Vampire Beach Book 1: Bloodlust - Alex Duval Thanks Laura! :D
   
7. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Keep Me in Mind - Joss Whedon (this is one of them "choose your desired path" books)
8. Charmed, Book 23: Inherit the Witch - Constance M. Burge
9. Half Moon Investigations - Eoin Colfer
10. Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book 3: The Last Straw - Jeff Kinney
11. Beacon Street Girls Book 1: Worst Enemies/Best Friends - Annie Bryant
12. Animal Jokes with Glen Singleton
    
13. 三国演义

okay, i know the last two are abit...er... but anw, just consider, yeah?

note:

• the titles may differ for the mediator series, cos of different publishers, but don't worry, i have linked correctly :D
• the covers of bloodlust and half moon investigations on the site are different from the ones i have, so you can ask me for pics :)
  

peace out.

okay, i know, the  blogskin's pretty... unexpected.
though it is nice.

but the fact that the words are orange is so... irritating.

haha.

will change soon. i think.

yup.

okay, i forgot what i was supposed to blog about earlier on. haha.

i realised, (for a while now), that i have books that i wanna get rid of.
i won't start a blogshop or anything like that, haha,
but i will post it here. soon. yeah.


it's always soon, isn't it?

oh, but one thing's for sure- new blogskin! :D

EYE Fever

END-OF-YEAR EXAMINATIONS ARE OVER!!!!
finally.
it still feels unreal though...
i half expect to drag myself out of bed at freakin' five-thirty in the mornin' to lug and cram. heh.

sheesh.
i thought i could finally blog,

but i have to go buy dinner,
and also "dry-mop" my room (why? tell you later :wink:)

seeya peeps.

ps: still don't believe it.
lol.

my boredom which led to inspiration and envy... :)





















okay that's enough. for now. heh :D



food for thought: romance-overrated?
i hope not. (:

this could be a dedication, i guess... i don't know, we haven't talked in so long...

jumper - third eye blind
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand
The angry boy, a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong
You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light
On a burial shroud
I know something's wrong
Well everyone I know has got a reason
To say
Put the past away
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand
Well, he's on the table
And he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they are doing here
And your friends have left
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I
I want you to know
Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today
We can put the past away
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand
I would understand
Can you put the past away
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand...



nice song nonetheless :)

"Eh, Ryan, you know how to dance?" (like MJ)

"No, I only know how to touch my cock."

WHAT. THE. HELL.
this came from an 8-year-old.





PS. Happy Birthday Aaron :D

she made me realize things, things that may not be all that bad...

To all teachers (even though none of you read my blog), Happy Teacher's Day!!!

Haha.

The emcee-ing went okay, I guess...

Went to kcp with charlotte after school ended. Kimberly was recounting her experience with the two rocky chairs. Ate Yummy Noodles. ahhh.... Really miss primary school chilli!!
Followed OT to parkway after. (kinda lost charlotte along the way). Sat in borders, just talking aimlessly.
Stacy's still got her sense of humour:D
Sigh, it's in times like this when I really miss primary school.

Managed to let her convince me to 'bring' her to macs, at east coast park.
Bought an ice cream, just to make it worth the time.
(gonna sweat it off in ballet later)
Her 'friend' followed us back.

So I was just happily eating my ice cream.
Then I realized,
They were holding hands.
Shit.


..................

Oh well.
Who asked her to drag me there?

season 2; goodbye, goodbye

spent the whole day hoping episode 11 would pop out today. but its showing at around 9pm (too lazy to find out which time zone) in the us. sigh.

oh, but SEASON THREE IS DEFINITELY COMING OUT! YIPPEE. :)
though it will only be like, next summer? or something?

oh wells. SEPTEMBER TWENTY-FOURTH IS COMING :D
.lalala~
george.
and alex.
and derek.
and mark.
and owen.
and other people.
like cristina.
and izzie.
and meredith.
~lalala.


finished writing out the script for teacher's day (which is TOMORROW - well, the celebrations are). Hope i don't fumble or do any stupid things.
even though the script does have its "dry-humoured" silly bits. hehe

well, wish me luck!


song of the moment: still - by michael w. smith and hillsong

ps: michael has a good voice. go listen to stuff like heart of worship, and you are holy (prince of peace), who are incidentally also songs of the moment. haha.

season 2; goodbye, goodbye

just finished watching episode 10.
sigh.. only two episodes left before the season ends. can't wait for season 3.
you know, i might just consider reading the books.

naw. let's leave people like bill, eric, godric, jason, and sam, in all their glory.
lol.
godric is so cute okay. a 2000-year-old vamp stuck in the body of a 15-year-old.
and eric with blood tears, all pityful pitiful... weird, man.
and bill.... ah... bill......
so damn bloody (if you'll pardon the pun) heart-wrenching (another pun here, but you wouldn't understand unless you watch) when he got "hurt". *gulps*
stephen moyer is such a damn good actor.
with good looks to boot.

damn those smoldering eyes of his. and that crooked, wicked grin.

hope there's gonna be a season three.

finished reading the book kim lent me not too long ago. called "the bachelorette party". quite funny, honestly. one of those little black dress book. (fyi, its a publishing company that publishes short "cute" novels - i guess that's one way of putting it)

finally finally FINALLY catching up on TB. cant believe the stupid thing ended halfway through the episode, after all those long minutes of waiting!! sigh...

but while waiting this time i shall go and check out which books i wanna borrow. stuck at the third one of the dresden files. stupid borrow-er returned at a weird time. maybe kena overdue. haiyo.





loads of shit happening in school lately.

one minute you were mad and bitching about me somewhere in an orchard mall, the next we become best buddies again? no way, jose.
if the marks were individual, who am i to give a shit? but too bad, we're stuck together. at least final decisions have not yet been made, and set in motion.
i have tolerated certain "shortcomings", for i know not everyone's perfect. but really, i can't take this continual rapid switching from muacks to shit and back again.

bloody hell, stop fucking around with me, seriously.
i am extremely good at holding grudges, in case you haven't opened your eyes big enough to see that, and i will never let myself get played like that anymore.
posses were never really my type of thing, but i thought this was different.

i guess i was wrong.

the connection has been severed, so i see no point in trying to scoop spilt milk back into the glass. conversation's no longer necessary, because i won't get screwed by someone like you.

I GOT A YAMAHA C70!!! YAAHHOOO!!! WHEEE!!!

Thank you mummy i lurrvee you :P

but then, i still kinda suck. so im practicing everyday. mustmustmust.

charlotte, i need your help. haha.
she ah, so good leh. can play quite a few songs liao.

me leh? "every move you make", still abit shaky. sigh.
bo bian. jiayou nicole!! [lol.]

seriously need to work on my chord progression.

hope i can improve on tuesday. REALLY.

P/S. HAPPY NATIONAL DAY FOLKS! :D

yay okay i shall go back to watching more vids. lalala~

so... you talking to me, or what?

wait. wait.
don't tell me.
i don't wanna know.

detachment is better than attachment;

sometimes, i just don't know what to think anymore.

are you too childish, or am i just being too mature.
nah, that's just tootin' my own horn.

but still, don't hurt my feelings that way.
i'm not as strong as you think.

i don't joke.
not exactly.
my "jokes",
are nothing but sarcasm;
laced with a hint of vodka,
scotch,
whiskey,
and the finest wines.

drugging you,
till, to you,
i'm blurred at the edges.

and you never get to see my true self.



grow up, i say.
grow up.

but who am i to admonish you,
if i myself have my own faults?